Addiction is a sneaky, pervasive and widely misunderstood phenomenon.
In Roy Nelson’s “Love Notes from Hell,” we’re faced with the uncomfortable truth that most of us are, indeed, addicts – in some form or another.
Food? Sex? Work? People pleasing? A cold glass of Chardonnay?
It doesn’t matter, Nelson argues, because instead of using healthy means to address our stressors, many of us turn to fast-acting, temporary solutions that, left unchecked, can become destructive habits and addictions.
The Problem With Pleasure
Delving deeply and honestly into his own past, Roy shares the stories of trauma and struggle that preceded a life riddled with various addictive behaviors. It wasn’t until he realized that this self-imposed “hell” was going to kill him that he sought freedom, and the path to that freedom is what he now calls the Nelson Method: a plan of spiritual healing that can free us from self-destructive behaviors.
As Roy points out, there’s a difference between a healthy diversion here and there (like a little dark chocolate after dinner) and the inability to be present in our own lives because we’re numbing out entirely (eating six bars of that chocolate to cope with boredom, pain, loneliness – the list goes on).
So what do we do?
The Nelson Method™ holds that we have to take action “infused with trust” and that we’ll achieve a positive result.
The Nelson Method
The method, which Roy says can be an alternative for people who fail in other settings (like 12-step groups or counseling), involves:
1. Awakening to the problem.
Admitting to the root cause of whatever created this “soul sickness” or the reason for your addiction is the first step.
2. Exploring your personal history.
By identifying which patterns – whether conscious or subconscious – have held you back, here you’ll create a plan for permanent, healthy change based on affirmative, empowering habits.
3. Claiming transformation.
Freedom from addiction can come when your intentions, desires and energy converge to propel you forward into a new way of thinking and living.
4. Healing the “soul sickness.”
When we can uproot anything that keeps us from feeling whole and worthy, we can shift our consciousness about ourselves.
5. Accepting the expansion.
With a new blueprint for our lives, we can find and be the authentic, peaceful versions of ourselves that no longer need addictions.
Why You Should Read It
Roy argues that we can be totally free from the self-destructive habits we have, no matter how deep the pain or how strong the addiction.
Even if you feel like you can’t relate to the idea of addiction, it’s still an eye-opening read about how we deal with suffering, how we lose our way and, ultimately, how we can all heal.
“Love Notes from Hell” offers heaps of wisdom about the nature of the human condition. We all just want to be loved, feel safe and live a life where we feel connected and authentic, don’t we?
Just make sure to have a tissue box nearby, as Roy’s stories – both his tragedies and his triumphs – might bring on the waterworks. But don’t worry, he leaves you warm and fuzzy by the end.
Join Dr. Sara’s Book Club!
Want first access to Dr. Sara’s book reviews, live Q&As with the authors, and other exclusive content? Join Dr. Sara’s Book Club today – it’s 100% free! www.saragottfriedmd.com/bookclub